Impostor Syndrome

Drawing from the Well

Queries Sent: 0
Total Queries: 14
Rejections: 1

Scenes Arranged: 0
Total Scenes: 227

I thought I sent a query yesterday, but it appears not. I barely got the blog out. I was aiming to write yesterday too. Tonight, though, for a bit. I’ve got a chapter in mind and it’s a good one. I’m laying a bunch of threads for one character that are going to intertwine in the climax. I’m really excited about it.

And yes, I received my first rejection this morning, but that’s okay. It’s part of the process. I’ve taken a new perspective on things thanks to Elise Kova so I’m in this for the long haul. Rejections are part of that. The first response just means I’ve gotten further into the submissions process, so that makes me happy. Progress, folks.

Filling the Well

Elegy: 100%! (Book 17 of 25 for #ProjectBookworm2019)
1984: 18%
A Good War: Page 3 of 92

Elegy finished strong after a weak start. I’m glad I stuck with it. It moved me. A Good War, the companion, paired novelette to Elegy, starts off much stronger than Elegy. Once again, Horde > Alliance (no one told me when I started playing!).

Polishing the Well

We did A LOT yesterday. We went to a not-quite-nearby mall and walked around, shopped a little, and saw Breakthrough. That movie is incredible for many reasons, not the least of which is that it is true. We were all moved, my wife and I all the way to tears; our kids were a bit tougher than we were. It was just great.

And then, for the main event, we saw the big guy above, Fluffy himself, Gabriel Iglesias. He. Is. So. Funny! We had a blast. It was the second time we saw him and it was just as good as it was the first time. I can’t wait for more from him.

Well Chat

Feeling Like Everyone Is About to Find Out You’re a Fake

There are two things called Impostor Syndrome. One is a real condition that many suffer from. I’m not here to talk about that today for a LITANY of reasons. I’m here to talk about the other “syndrome” you get when you lack confidence in success.

I classify this as a level of doubt because it follows having overcome Semantic, Structural, and Foundational Doubt to attain success. That success triggers Impostor Syndrome. This is the feeling that everyone is eventually going to find out that you’re a fraud. It sounds silly unless you’ve experienced it. You’ve achieved success by whatever measure you use. For authors, it is publication early on and then certain sales goals later in their career. If you’re experiencing that much success, how could you be a fraud?

Because we lack confidence. We attribute our success to luck, fate, or other factors outside of our own consistent hard work. In truth, there is an element of cosmic guidance in it as well as our blood, sweat, and tears. We put in the effort. We put in our creativity. We dripped pieces of our souls into the work. God blessed it but only because we tried. It isn’t luck. Try and get us to understand that, though, and you might as well be talking to a wall.

Upon graduations, hirings, and promotions, I always downplay it. It is rare that I simply say thank you. I play it off as this or that or that I BARELY got what I sought. Even now as I am seeking representation, I know that when I do finally get what I’m after, I’ll dress up insecurity as humility and say things like “I got lucky.” I will be so grateful to get what I wanted that I’ll feel I don’t deserve it.

By now, you’re probably asking how you get over Impostor Syndrome. It’s hard. It’s hard to even identify you’re suffering from it. But if someone is praising you and you find anything but thanks coming out of your moth, you’re probably either suffering a bout of arrogance or Impostor Syndrome. So focus on being thankful for the success and the praise and you’ll probably be just fine.

May the tide carry you to safer shores.

BSG